Is this all about self love?
Yes Self Love it is!
Throughout my life, this concept seems to come easy for me or not in different aspects. How does that work? When I had to be in public and show everyone that I loved myself, I would do it for people, and I thought for myself. As I got older, I noticed how I struggled with really loving my true self. I always had these insecurities of being too hairy or something pretty big for me…not having a driver's license. You're probably wondering what that has to do with self-love? I'm starting to realize a thing I didn't want anyone or that many people to know because embarrassment has stopped me from really loving myself to the fullest. So yes, I don't have my license, but I plan on getting it soon! Just living a busy life and also anxiety, especially on the road has delayed that. The hairy insecurity that I have had since I was a little girl comes up as well. I am used to it at this point, but sometimes it still bugs me when I see more hair on my body than you would ever see on another girl. I know I am not the only one…I mean, there are other beautiful women out there with the same issue as me, and they own it! I'm starting to own it now but it was not easy getting there.
These have been some of the insecurities that I have had throughout the years. They go into my concept of self-love because they have been a part of my journey.
"I slowly was ignoring my true self to fit into society."
Welcome to my struggles with self-love.
When I got this topic sent to me for a blog....I was for it...I still am
However, that meant I had to be honest with myself and my audience.
This is the moment I had to face two particular struggles that I either had been working on with myself and another not so much...because honestly, it brings me anxiety just even talking about it.
My first struggle is dealing with the amount of hair I have all over my body compared to most women. It's everywhere! Since a young girl, I had always been self-conscious about that part of my body because it did not look like every other girl had the same problem....as though I thought. I started shaving at the very young age of 11 or 10, maybe. I thought this was the way to keep me looking like the rest, but it backfired on me. The hair was growing back thicker and longer everywhere each time. As I grew up, I noticed how normal arm hair was, and I started being more comfortable not shaving my arms. Now it's like a part of me that makes me myself. I'm not saying I am done with this struggle because I still go through it daily with every piece I find hair at. For so long, it took me forever and it still does to shave everything. Recently, I have my new lifesaver, Kenzzi, which is a at home laser. It has helped my hair not grow as thick and I love it! I started exfoliating and moisturizing all my hairy areas much more. I have taken time to focus on my self-care and treat my body in my way. The moral of the reason I am telling this is that I know if you are reading this, you must have a hair insecurity, not confident in yourself in some way, or just reading my blogs....whatever it is...I am here to say that it all starts with you. Have confidence in yourself first and I promise you will radiate others with your light! Be you always, and this is just another part of your journey, not a consequence!
My second struggle....this a tough one for me.
So growing up, we all know ages 15 and 16, you start getting your permit and driving. I was one of those teenagers wanting to start driving, not realizing the anxiety that would stop me from pursuing this until now. I am 24 without a driver's license. It has always been super hard to open up to people about this because I was embarrassed. However, I have been slowly telling people I know and still have so many to tell...I guess this helps with not having to tell people individually as much. It's not a big deal in the bigger picture. However, with this journey, I constantly compared myself to others and rushed the process. I have driven a car, of course. Back in 2015-2016, I was getting help from family members and a driver instructor. The problem was I was so focused on obtaining the license that the actual learning went through me so fast, and I failed the behind-the-wheel test back in April 2016. I was scared to do it again because of the minor mistakes I made that cause me not to pass. Recently, I had a talk with my mom about my journey with my driving. She told me what I am precisely telling you today. I have put myself down so much for it that it made me not want to try to obtain my license again. I was putting myself up for failure.
I bring this personal struggle up because I want to be transparent and remind you that we are the ones with the power to create that sense of confidence in us and be a masterpiece while we are a work in progress, as the quote says.
I'm barely just at the beginning of my self-love journey but let me tell you that it has brought so much light and love into my life because I started focusing on me. Now I am surrounded by such positive and amazing support....you know who you are.
This is your sign to start focusing on yourself and see who you truly are. It doesn't matter what flaws you have. I may not know you, or I may know you, and I know you are a diamond in this world ready to take on your journey with no one trying to change you or comparing yourself to others. You will truly live life with such bliss in that way.
Let me know what struggles you have had and how you want to overcome them or how you did! <3
Ooo you don’t know how good that feels to start accepting my progress and growth finally!!! A throwback of me dancing in one of my Youtube videos hahaha my mood right now hehe
See you next time!!!!!